This is a serious post. It’s one of the life’s essential lessons, I learnt from someone. We all know that it’s a cruel world out there, one can’t possibly shield his/her kid from the evils of the world, but that’s what life is: Learning with experience as well as with guidance. We all also know that everyone is born pure-hearted: no one is angelic; no one is devilish by birth. The upbringing, the environment, the company one bores, situations, and most importantly, the family’s teachings and support carves the person one is.
There is this extremely knowledgeable and insightful book by the famous Philip Zimbardo (of the notorious 1971 Stanford Prison Experiment fame) titled “The Lucifer Effect”. It explores how and under what conditions do humans indulge in so-called unethical and immoral acts, which they themselves can’t justify. I suggest anyone interested to at least watch his videos on Ted.com.
One of these reasons is a weak sense of judgement, or a lack of one’s own principles. As what might seem justifiable to one person, may or may not be acceptable to someone else. Not everyone thinks alike.
And I believe during the early childhood and the teenage years, these principles and morals are already established. This rigid ideology is, perhaps, why people are most stubborn and not-so-open-minded in their early 20s. (This is a popular belief, not a fact.) And parents play a very important role in this sense of judgement of their children.
Well, by the age of 30-40, you have seen a lot of the world, you know, a simpleton couldn’t possibly survive in this deadly world. Quoting an ancient Indian philosopher Chanakya, “Straight trees are cut first.” So, you wouldn’t want your kid to be the victim of circumstance. You do want him to know sly, cunning ways to get things done. A little deceit, or may be just deliberately hidden truth, and what not…it’s only natural, you make these your habits. But now-a-days, you’d see parents asking their kids to tell so-and-so lies to their neighbours, teachers, etc. Why? To keep up with today’s fast changing world.
But I strongly disagree with this trend. If as a parent, you introduce your own kid to the vices, he’ll grow up to learn terrible things, which he might feel are totally justified, considering the fact that you yourself inculcated some habits that grew up into some horrible acts, perhaps.
For example, if no parent excuses any kind of disrespect to a girl by their kids since their childhood, would women be objectified? No. If every parent teaches their kids to be honest towards their work at least, would there be a society with a low productivity in any field? No.
I guess, by now, the idea must be loud and clear: Never teach any remotely negative thing/habit to your kid, for that, we have a thing out there called “World”.