The best way to be self-sufficient is to NEVER share your feelings/thoughts/anxieties with anyone, be it your girl friend/boy friend/ best friend/sister/mother/father/brother or any person you feel close to, NO MATTER WHAT.
Well, you must have already figured, this is a sh*tty world, and if you want to live and not merely survive, you need to follow this simply ideology: “Sh*t happens, you gotta roll with it, adapt.” (Inspired from Jamie Foxx in “Collateral”). If you don’t want to end up being hurt, you mustn’t trust anyone, anyone at all.
I personally believe, being mentally sound is the most important thing for any person, to be productive, professionally or emotionally. We, being humane have a tendency to have our fair share of mood swings, which generally affect our relationships and work too. It’s only natural to have bad days, good days, and all that. But all that has internal locus, meaning, it may be natural, but you and only you are capable of getting hold of the situation, being rational and intelligent all the same, irrespective of your mental state. You may claim that talking to that special someone makes your worries go away, or at least you forget them (though I’d never buy that, it may or may not be entirely true). But what if I tell you that you can let go of this dependency (say, while you’re in dire need of talking to him/her, he/she isn’t available, probably busy or asleep :P, you get super agitated and irritated, right? ) and you can handle it yourself, so that he/she would never have to see your crying and/sad face. In addition to that, you’ll only act rationally once you’ve imbibed this habit of not sharing yourself with anyone, into your system.
That sounds pretty great, and the sure-shot way to make it really happen it to stop letting anyone know your thoughts*. (* Conditions Apply) This seems to be a Herculean task at first, but believe me, it is not. If you have to share something funny, go right ahead, that’ll only add to your sense of humor. I know this method is is effective because: (yes, I have applied this in my life.)
>> As you don’t share anything remotely sad, you’re perceived as a happy-go-lucky person, which will only increase the feel-good-factor in you (positive feedback), which will compel you to continue.
>> There would be times when you just have to let go of something and the only plausible way to do it is to share it, so the best option will be writing a diary. And a diary is better than a living person, because it won’t judge you and won’t give you stupid suggestions and views, not even any sleazy assurances to make you feel better. In the long run, this activity will make you feel confident enough to handle your sorrows, problems, anything for that matter. It will drive you into being a more sensible person, who makes his/her decision on his own (Since now you just discuss problems with yourself, you try to emulate how the manner in which he/she would have tackled the problem, weighing the pros and cons more carefully; thereby making yourself more competent and rational).
>> You’ll also start looking for ways to feel happy or just laugh (like watching Russell Peters videos) without talking to your loved one, this will make you cool (in case you’re not) (Hahaha, you’re reading my blog, I declare you cool 😛 ). On a serious note, this will make you explore that side of yours which is still undiscovered, you spend more time with yourself, you introspect, you learn, you grow.
The only issues with this are:
>> The time needed to make this habit, a part of you, might take a lot of time (actually it depends on person to person.)
>> Initially, you might get complaints that “you’ve changed”, “you’re not the same person I once knew/loved”, “I smell something fishy going on in your life, TELL ME”, and the likes. But don’t give up so easily, if you get this close, please post a comment, I’ll tell the ways to tackle this too.